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"Car and Driver", Papal-style

If you're planning on seeing the pope in the near future, you might get a chance to see him with his new set of (eco-friendly) wheels.

Yes, the Pope will be receiving a new popemobile.

But don't expect to be able to go out and purchase one for yourself: the machine is "a custom-made M-Class plug-in hybrid based on the technology found inside the Mercedes Vision S500 plug-in hybrid."

In some ways, Pope Benedict doesn't so much "choose" the vehicle, as "receive" it; Mercedes has given vehicles to the pope for decades. 

But while the gift doesn't express his personal taste so much as Mercedes' generosity, you car-buffs out there might be interested to recognize a confrere in his predecessor, Pius XII.

In this endearing address to Members of the Car Club of Rome in 1956, he spoke highly of automobiles—almost like a wine connoisseur would speak lovingly of wine; I can't decide whether he sounds more like a BMW advertisement, or simply like every reader “Auto Week” magazine I know:

The car is certainly one of the most expressive symbols of the modern age, his desire for comfort, speed, technical progress. We do not know what should be the most admired in its devices: their power and increasing their agility, the mechanical refinements, provided by the elegance of their profiles.

I love in particular how, the way he describes it really brings out the beautiful masculinity of mastering a machine 5 times your speed and 10 times your size. (Note: I couldn't resist leaving in the gendered language of the Italian when it refers to the automobile as a "she").

"No doubt the car will appear often less as a means of transport as a wonderful object of entertainment, which demands great skill and confidence, dominion over yourselves and physical endurance. You love to feel your power and dominion to ease the energy it contains in its sides, and you will win easily flattered by her resistance, her whims, sometimes her stubbornness, and thus have the opportunity to prove your mastery of the steering wheel, your experience of the road and your mechanical skills."  

For you fans of "American-Made" vehicles, you might be happy to know that Pius XII's favored vehicle was a Graham-Paige, gifted to the papacy just days after the great stock market crash of the 1920s - an interestingly parallel to Mercedes' continued care for the popes despite today's economic difficulties.

And next time you take your own for a spin, you might keep in mind his own papal “rules of the road”:

"But you do not forget…to respect road users, be courteous and fair with other drivers and pedestrians, and show them your obliging nature. Pride yourselves in being able to master an often natural impatience, in sometimes sacrificing a little of your sense of honor so that kindness is a sign of true charity. Not only so you can avoid unpleasant accidents, but also it will help to make the car a tool even more useful for yourself and for others, and is capable of giving a genuine pleasure."

Now that's a sentiment that most guys I know can relate to.

 -Maureen Walther

Mixed news on divorce in the New York Times

At first glance, the article seems hopeful. Divorce has "lost its groove," the New York Times headline proclaims, or at least it has among the hipster-Brooklyn crowd.

“What happened?” asks the writer Claire Dederer in her memoir, “Poser,” which examines life as a new mother in Seattle. In the 1970s, “the feminists, the hippies, the protesters, the cultural elite all said, It’s O.K. to drop out.” In contrast, “We made up our minds, my brother and I and so many of the grown children of the runaway moms, that we would put our families first and ourselves second. We would be good, all the time. We would stay married, no matter what, and drink organic milk.”

“The notion of divorce has become one of failure again,” said 42-year-old Stacy Morrison of Park Slope, an author of another divorce memoir. “It used to be, ‘You’re free, rock on!’ Now it’s, ‘You couldn’t make it work, you failed.’ ”

The article continued on by declaring, "Among a certain demographic, marriage is viewed as something that, like work-life balance, yoga and locavore cuisine, needs to be continually worked at and improved upon."

Bizarre comparisons aside, the piece does a good job discussing last year's study by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, which revealed a trend of college-educated Americans divorcing at significantly lower rates than the rest of the population. For instance:

Now that the children of a divorce generation have grown up and have children of their own, it is inevitable some will divorce, despite their worst fears and best intentions. Most marriages that end in divorce fall apart in the first 10 years. But according to the widely cited Marriage Project study last year, among college-educated couples who married in the mid-1990s, the likelihood of divorcing in the first 10 years of marriage fell 27 percent compared with college-educated couples who married in the 1970s.

In a 2008 survey, only 17 percent of college-educated Americans agreed with the statement, “Marriage has not worked out for most people I know,” compared with 58 percent among the less educated.

So that's the good news. What I find unsettling is the article's conclusion.

Because these "children of divorce" -- the latchkey kids of the '70s and '80s -- suffered profoundly the effects of their parents' split, they will go to great lengths to ensure their own children's happiness after they undergo a divorce, themselves. At what point, though, does this just because a band-aid solution for the parents' own wounds -- assuaging their guilt for putting their children through a similar situation to what they faced in their youth?

Dr. Monet, of Mount Holyoke, and her ex-husband eat dinner together on Fridays with their 9-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter. Birthdays and holidays are spent in each other’s company.

“Once I realized that we could raise the kids together and still be a family,” said Dr. Monet, who started a blog called Postcards From a Peaceful Divorce last year, “I realized it wasn’t divorce that’s devastating, it’s the way divorce is handled.”

When Nina Collins, 41, a former literary agent, divorced her husband, she said both her lawyer and therapist emphasized: “Divorce is completely different from when your parents split up. If your kids feel loved and they don’t see hideous behavior, they’ll be fine.”

“Of course, there’s still trauma,” Ms. Collins said. “But I think it’s gotten a lot more humane for everyone.”

A common belief is that if the divorce is done properly, the children benefit more from the separation than from living in a family with a compromised marriage. Ms. Gilman, echoing the sentiments of many divorced mothers, said, “In the end, I actually think it was a very positive thing we did for the kids.”

I'll be clear -- if it's a matter of kids living in an abusive environment, then their safety is absolutely a priority. But, "humane" or not, let's not glamorize the fact that even modern-day children of divorce still lack the stability and security of a two-parent home, as well as the love of their mother and father for each other that serves as a foundation for that home.

-- Elizabeth Hansen